Ok How is this possible?

Before anyone sees me defend myself, I had to be punished by powerful families… because it does not matter if im hurt if i do drugs or look ugly or … the message is people want to save money/functionality/domination.  I do not have prestige or weapons or any fan club.  I need to be unstable with invisible demonic problems and mental problems because i was pretty angry honestly that my parents and sister did not make sense.  That triad is the money and the bid and the goal for power, and i was stuck in the dust with dogma like wanting some low income “life” with theology and the arts.  I actually need money, and there is a wall of hate for me instead.  Forget whatever tools or weapons are against me.  Since preschool, i was weird and wrong.  I did not understand my impact or effect but any growth or maturation will not count.  The decisions for revenge and disabling is probably serious and permanent.  I am sad to say, people theorize I chose to be born causing trouble.  I did not really understand genitals… it brought a lot of fear to me, but I do not qualify as a child ever.  I am not someone who remembers a past life, but I think I had mean bully adults inside, and procedure goes that I take responsibility for them.  I was born for hell, and I am in hell, and if I do not want kids or have time to grow up before torture, then I am still voted hell.  There is no excuse.  I do not want to be a sacrifice for sorcery and inaccuracy like eclipsing good intentions with adult jokes.  My goals will never matter if I am stuck in this rat king so to speak.  I am unwanted.  People i liked or who stuck up for me got killed.

My entire family needs me feeling juicy in the pants with anything.  Life is very bodily with blame at me.  My family is needing me out of the house before 18, and I was too scared and did not know I was a different biological father.  I was cut off from any good wish for me very young.  So many people like fecal transplants for me.  My dad dated a woman who knew hiv for me would hurt my abortion chest.  There is a lot of love for any other race or person.  My truth does not matter.  It is just my truth, and I do not want to be remembered ok.  Please never relate to me.  This is disgusting.

When I tried to defend myself, i saw other people get burned on twitter.  I felt like wow, this is planned?  It does not matter.  Rich people get what they want.  I cannot escape.

So here it goes.

gangstalking and targeted individuals … that whole realm of invisible war is cruel programming.  On the dark web i am auctioned to live a cursed life for very little credit as i am sober and the tasks are horrendous like getting shot at and getting decay and digestive trouble.  No bullets have hit me yet but i am threatened with disembodied voices about it all the time.  I am a very haunted person.  None of this is mutual.

Even if it is the apocalypse, be kind to people.  Attitudes are contagious.

Please protect women and children, and please encourage education for all people.  I ... wish you all the best, but yeah, I can't be very in touch right now, because I am reeling.  It feels like I have shingles and fibromyalgia at the same time almost all the time.

I got medication a year after writing this and calmed down gradually, but my body is still not my own as far as health 

2 people from my past collaborated to get rotten pig meat involved in food in tennessee and now i am ptsd about sausage with people being so enthusiastic about pork it drives me crazy because my mom took the pig farm rag and ruined my clothes and bed and blankets.  After pig rot reached all over, i got ringworm, and cans of veg chili got cat butt from blonde couple looking like younger version of neighbors who lied about buying our house while grandma deteriorated up north so we had to stay longer. (Bj hampton kelsey hampton)

It is this group of druggie kids rich enough for intel agency protection and they made me and my brother slaves to impress drug rings.  We get voices and pain and torture.  The advice is usually not good.  It is American people including classmates who had family make deals to show my torture on remote viewing.

Ak and jordan m L did know each other and get me pregnant to make sure i was weakened or more dead or depressed.  They both new caitlin and want to pay people to get me dead and unmedically cared for in jail.  Please help.

There was this early early effort in school before 18 years of age to do saturnalia stuff like opposite day.  I was given traumatizing telepathic convo to keep me away from a jewish family to accuse me of being a nazi and my grades dropped but rumors said i was racist and not into jewish people i guess.  Secretly i am very moved by theology and anthropology and just want preservation and conservation.  I am so sorry to hear about these damaging concepts in words, the damage being years of poverty and zero friends.  I am very damaged and the paranoia has grown but with medication i am much more controlled.  Yes voice of god weapon is hell.  Hint: it is not “god” but maybe a very amoral democracy.

In the end even first nations were racist so if i got help from minorities there were some west coast extremists setting me up and doing quantum assault and ducking for vintage air force bs so from 2015-2019 had no idea its more than just voodoo but it still attacks me i got shot at ok i got poisoned in teleportation even family put blood in coffee

Im doing better but hit again: im sad to see my own immediate family will not forgive me and on and on i am traded for a disappointed person maybe a person not liking punishment or a mourning person as well.  Im sad it is about turning the other cheek, but listen: they want to bury me in trash and toilet stuff because of my problem with church, highschool and the groups and groupies… fanclubs of whatsit… Im almost positive i needed to learn on the computer and my parents stopped it and wanted me near a clue that hurt me.  (Maybe hiv lipodystrophy at church) They … people… invited my weakness i think in a scam.  It became tiring.  Anyone has called me ugly.  Dead headers will let civilians die of drugs anytime, ducking as these secret rockstars.  In the end, a brahmin wAr with a thousand heads killed me for music with virus instead of my own chance to recover from a rude pregnancy and rude control treatment.  It is me stuck pitted against a culture or type of personality i just dont relate to or react to perfectly.  It is hurt to me a woman and civilian and i was not fat and evil but they do manage to make me in that image instead ok i am forced to be any opposition myself to share maybe shame or disappointment.  I was trying to keep a painting and photography and underground modeling portfolio together and they ruined all of it after i survived hiv infection on purpose by surprise maybe with a paid agent who has creepy movie magic effects including a burning stinging spark on my womb.  They now put poop on my womb i cluding from my sisters dog and gunman anthony snook has a dog ready to hit or infect more people like the agent from chicago they call “thit.”

Please help.

Please please help.

please dear god get me out of these evil eyes and out of this family but what the hell i cannot be homeless with hiv what the hell AGAIN?! Please dear god no

Edit:  hello i mentioned names on a blog and got one comment from a woman who was verbally abused AS WELL so what the problem is, is i was a civilian targeted by agents to be way too engaged even sexual?  And then they have psychic drivers or a fan club inside and im dealing with muted messages sometimes.  So i got framed but these are very rich people who did not need a job if they want a suffering from me or even my child or family?  Instead i struggle with support from the money system, like even a fast food or gas station job was insane.  If my enemies were connected to charity work which is dreamy to me… they freakin hated it or some scandal happened and now my states have had mold or weird social interactions, and even travel became impossible with unwanted sexual contact and sickly looking people.

I also am forced to smell bodies and it hurts- they force meatloaf and candida smell so weird and haunting…

Ok please note: i never got a regular addiction or drug loyalty.  I do have fear i am full of fear and people pleasing or submission especially low weight was the only option without money AND friends, like teamwork.  So car issues were mostly my jittery hands and feet and fatigue.  I did not do well without daily vitamins and caffeine.  I knew early im the worst at sports so not great at military and ended up analyzing myself into trying fasting or whatever, maybe philosophizing with writing.  I did not want intense reactions or communism re educating people or even fascism.  I want to live and let live.  I sort of felt like i could trust angels and god to help souls learn and reform, like how prison should not do hot rats technique or spoiling.  But whatever:  i was out of the loop.  I am trying to compromise, and i do pray or have that desire for organized spirits … like people in their version of freedom which does not disturb.  I do not want to disturb or be abrasive, but I worry with technology maybe people appropriate or spy and then feel too influenced or force influence, and i wish for peace instead.  Please help each other, but due to medical issues, i would say avoid skin contact or romance if the planet needs environmental help.  Or just try to stay emergency and necessity based.  I do think healthy conversation and truth and love is a good thing and a usual necessity.

Ok extra detail very needed:  attention is layered.  Classmates set me up with some intro to adulthood and went for a different race right away.  My sister did not like me and maybe people did contracts and wishes and sponsorships for opinions about me as someone too much like sinead oconnor or an activist.  I do think ive been disabled and attacked but whatever, because many spirits are sort of 1950s style.  Honestly i would prefer 60s wigs and great prescriptions and lots of work and upper eyelid liner.  So anyway, i do think guys were more to me instead of i hunt a guy down, because i tried to find a first timer and it was hell and i was like never again.  I did not want kids due to depression and deformed feet so by sophomore year i looked too liberal i think, though i was so thankful for peaceful streets and protests for a while.  I am microwaved i think, and if i want a friend or relationship/arrangement, i think there is communist style re education or revolution?  Maybe a broadcast has been used, and when i got voices myself more clearly freshman year, i was insulted by using spiritual technology to make me afraid of kindness from women.  The message was i was not really pretty enough or secretive enough.  I am sorry for all this but maybe tech hostage problems are about satellite domination needing to make a point in a world where material healing is costly and requires commutes or indecent visions.

Just so you know, i never had formal intro or satellite confidence and the guy who had to entangle me in san fran for friendlier but thicker decompression from hiv rape… they had satellite approval but maybe torture and it was confusing for me until maybe after covid began so that from 2013-2020 that im like trying so hard to get any mature savior wording from maybe even anyone but i kinda quit, and im just trying to read on my own.

I dont think anyone really came clean.  Just so you know.  Targeted individuals community helped but maybe already died or something.  It is hell and maybe hit some families with more optimistic members.  I dont think peace is on trend.

Also please note maybe there was health to avoid my sister but guys drop me asap, also because this mkultra pro blair in sf likes to put the angriest ideas in me like no carrying me no wedding and im sold like a slave for guys to get a better female form shorter so… yeah creepy.  Not my choice of interjection, but more on that later ok.

So anyway so if i avoid my sister right?  How safe is that?  No home no welcome no friend in family because as a kid i was goofy not trying to be more offensive than self defense.  I really did hear nonstop, “think about the kids first” but never learned to change a diaper, so i was cut off of loving care in a medical way maybe by curse and ran like hell from a nursing degree with judd chanted in my head.  They are cool people who got hurt trying to help and THAT was my epilepsy story when my sister got sick and everyone was like… how dare you try to prop her up coughing screaming im blind?!  She had night terrors, fuzzy eyes.  But my mom wouldnt do the verbal programming to keep me in a positive light so, i do think my mom also knew my dad was roughin me up a bit and i should just scram.  There were some issues with touch in the family.  My mom explained she was slapped in public at a baseball game.  So please yeah i would beg for help but my sister has a huge fan club ok i put a penny in her diaper on the changing table and patted her butt yet i wish i could have a baby on my shoulder kinda stuff, and that stillness and cuteness is just not secure in this family.  Im not approved or spoken well of, and if my feet are dedicated to my dad and my eyes and nose are piggy i do never want to perpetuate this.  I have a cyst with pus on my nads.  I wanted to be neutered by the end of high school i promise.

Im sorry im not any hero really im ugly but its creepy to have energy around bad attitude or bad memories.  I have run away too much and now im sick.

Ok also please note that the whole pervit or pervect idea was desensitizing myself to telepathy which had zero intentions of saving me.  It someone nice tries to trace this black dahlia style threat, they might get pooped pants.  My intestines were cut for judas/nero/justinian, books were burned, gifts thrown away.  I maybe met mossad or something, like i said, malachi stuff but who would want any color or creed in unison against a self or identity ir need or preference?  So anyway, maybe more people should know that prayers or wishes can be stolen even.  I saw many dreams and ideas never fruit on this here vine.  But my lower body is gross and goaty like a dad who kind of never hugged me or gave me a 20$ bill until i got the stealth/rape hiv from a cryptid lookin guy on a black site maybe…?  There is so much underwriting and recycling of clues that life is not precious.  Good luck everyone.  This is not better than hbo stuff.  I get nonmutual fecal transplants.